Thanks GrowlyCat...

It sounded like genuine fear, like he was afraid that he'd be torn apart by someone with BPD. When we talked though, he seemed OK with my stuff (negative interpretations, I assured him that I don't call/email incessantly - the only time I called my last T was when he specifically asked me to re: changing times).

Re: negative interpretations, he seemed to get that, and said something like, "as long as your willing to work on them." - which yeah, of course.

I wonder if he had second thoughts though. It's weird and depressing. We ended the session (apparently a little late, b/c people were waiting outside?) and he gave me some papers to fill out, told me that he works Monday-Thursday plus Saturday (takes Fridays off), and asked if I was ok with him doing monthly invoices for receipts (yup).

I thought we left things good, but he was in a rush, so when we talked about me coming back, I thought we agreed that he'd send me some times for next week. He said something about not being sure what's going next week with people changing times and the holidays.

That's fine... but it's thursday. I sent a polite response to the receipt that he sent reminding him about sending times. And I haven't heard anything at all back yet. And, he doesn't work Fridays.

It just seems so weird. And really disappointing And I don't know him well enough to know whether he's just having trouble getting himself organized, whether he's still trying to fit in all his other clients, whether he just decided to bail and was afraid that I might turn into a hysterical mess if sent me an email saying that, or what!

I'm sad. Life is hard and I feel so old and hopeless now.