Since your marriage is full of problems on basically every level maybe having some extra people over might be a blessing.

It's possible if you agree to just have this dinner and stop fighting it and as mentioned ...people bring potlucks , desserts etc , it will actually be a good time.

Thanksgiving is all about being thankful..... These people are not going to come to get drunk and the ones with challenges...... Well you might make there day but more so they might make yours.

For me ...... Cooking thanksgiving for just my husband and I is a shame, we invite people over or we go volunteer at a soup kitchen.

Life is much to short to have all this back and forth ...you and you're husband are so overloaded with resentment, based on your posting about you're relationship.

It's just dinner.... It's not forever.
As mentioned people can bring dishes and people always offer to help before during and after meals !

This isn't him winning..... This is just picking battles, you already have a battle over his daughter.

Its Thanksgiving , a meal.... It's not a lifelong chore.

Good luck in whatever you decide. Happy Thanksgiving