I truly feel for you.

I do understand, at least to some degree. In the past, I have had to live on very little money and never knew how I was going to pay the bills. When first disabled, I had sold everything I could sell, just to try to pay the bills. Once I won disability, I tried to live on 60% of my pay (calculated over 30 years ago).
It was very difficult and there were many additional unforeseen hardships. Life was so frustrating!

As you know too well, living under frustrating circumstances can easily engender more frustration and more depression.

As I have mentioned, I am now married. My husband makes a decent living.
We've both had many medical needs the past 3-4 years and our insurance coverage is not anywhere as good as it used to be. Our medical costs are creating very real hardships. Mine are, especially.
I feel helpless and hopeless. We'd have better coverage if we divorced.

At the same time, I am going to keep up with my daily exercise and other goals as much as possible. Something is going to change sometime. No matter what, at least I'll be able to walk and will be more fit.

I am walking in the malls because its free (and I can watch the daily changes at the mall through the holiday season). I did speak with the membership manager for the nearest health club and he has offered me a free month of use of their track, in order to see if I like it. He then offered me a partial membership for $25.00 a month, each month (no pre-paid lump sum). Most people pre-pay $600. -$800.00 per year, per person, in a lump sum, for memberships. The winters are brutal here and I am trying to find options for keeping my exercise as a priority. You might find some support at you gym (even lesser fees) if you talk with the people/person with the power to make concessions for members in need?

Please know I do understand and am sorry for your circumstances.
I hope your circumstances change pronto. In the meantime, try to keep your eye on the prize? Keep your priorities in order? It will help you to make it through the toughest times.

I am very concerned about you. Ongoing, severe frustration can bring us to a breaking point. Reach out as much as possible, in search of support. Don't give up.

I am thrilled to read you have found some support from your mother and from a friend. It's important we find the support around us. Support helps us to shore up our sense of inner strength.


WC