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Old Nov 18, 2016, 06:13 AM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 23,226
Quote:
Originally Posted by Erebos View Post
At the moment the sexual relationship is healthy, and within the realms of 'normal' . As advised by his key worker. I am have no interest in pushing his buttons, or undoing the work he has done.
This thread has helped me see just how heavily biased things are against him as it is, He doesn't need the one person who should be providing support to be leaning on him from the inside.
@sophiesmom, sorry I thought I had answered your query futher back. It's not that I am not concerned about my welfare. It just wasn't the reason I started this thread. I didn't want to draw attention from my main question. I appreciate your concern, and Thankyou for asking. I wasn't trying to be evasive, I just wanted to focus on my current concern.

@divine1996, yes my psych, Says he has no concerns and we have discussed this at length.
That I have taken all the steps I can to ensure we are both safe.
Low standards, that's an interesting comment. I have had a few long term relationships, and many flings when I was still in my teens. I would never have consider any of them to be of low standard. I am not sure what that means.
My previous partners, have all worked , had their own homes, cars, holidays and disposable income.
One didn't work out cos we were to young.
One because we wanted diffrent things.
The last one, we went 10 years and four kids later they suddenly didnt want the responsibility. I couldn't have seen it coming, no one did. So I took a longtime out to heal and realised I was happier on my own with the kids so I stopped looking.
As for the kids, my girls are grown, and know the situation, because they still live at home I felt they had the right to decide if they wanted this man in their home or not. They both went off and did their own background research, and have been very supportive. I havnt brought him home or introduced him to my kids, and I won't until the social do their risk assessment.
Again I thank you for time and questions.
By low standards I meant maybe not expecting much. You mentioned somewhere that your kids father isn't in their lives and decent upstanding citizen do not abandon their children so I thought maybe in general you don't expect much from men. But if you say otherwise it's ok. I agree that people especially women are biased against men who assault and rape. Certainly there is a bias and it's kind of expected. I am glad you seeing a professional and I am out of this thread. This thread is very triggering for people btw. I have never been raped but had students who were and know other rape victims and it's very triggering to read that someone would choose to be with a rapist. Good luck.
Thanks for this!
Erebos