This morning started ok. I tried to be optimistic. I told my bae how yesterday turned out to be the worst day I've had in years. He said I just need to exercise more routinely, probably because I'm skipping the gym today. Maybe he is right, but I just need to sit down and breathe sometimes. Yesterday i regretted picking the gym over rest. I do too much. I never let myself slow down and breathe. Anyway. I felt like a failure after that conversation. Like a carrot that got yanked out of the dirt and tossed aside, roots exposed and nowhere to go. No bellies to feed.
Driving home I just wanted to wreck my car. I don't think I should be driving on the freeway until I'm feeling better.Also I'm going to start taking more lamictal. I was trying to take less(doctor supervised) to try and get pregnant. I have to do it tho. It hurts too much. [emoji30]