I'm not a T, dtrain and therefore, I don't feel that I can enlighten you about how a competent and well-trained T should respond. My hope is that Myrto will find a good therapist to help her process this whole fiasco or not if she doesn't want to ever trust one again. I wasn't directing my comment at you directly but I simply wanted to express my personal reaction to any comment from a T or a layperson that encourages a person who is talking about her personal pain in ANY relationship but particularly the pain she has experienced in a ruptured therapeutic relationship, but then when the person finishes revealing her deepest anguish, tells her that they really can't comment or empathize because they haven't heard both sides of the "story". That takes away from what the person has talked about--telling them, without saying the actual words, that her "story" needs to be checked out because there might be a reason for the person treating them in such a shabby manner. I relate what I say to the abuse and trauma that many of us have experienced here on this forum from our families or relatives and how we might feel if our T said to us, "Well, that certainly sounds horrendous but I really can't help until I hear their side of the story." Why is it that T's have no difficulty talking to an individual in therapy and never saying they need to talk to their family member, but when someone is injured in a therapeutic relationship, Ts, as a group, have a VERY HARD time believing what the client has told them? Seems fishy to me. I don't know about you, but I would NOT want to be working with any T who said those types of things nor would that person be someone I'd turn to as a friend when in an emotional crisis.

But how I feel about this entire issue is definitely my own personal feelings and experience. The only one I want to hear the statement: "I need to hear both sides of the story" is a lawyer or a judge. Purely personal and I can accept that others might not feel the same way.