I left after 28 years, I moved out because there was no way I could afford the house and I hated the house anyway, nothing but bad memories in it. it wasn't easy and even though my kids were adults, one of them refused to talk to me for 10 months. that was the hardest part of everything because I lived for my kids. he has since come around and we are fairly close again. I just had to be patient. While I lived at the house, I lived in another bedroom the last 4 months. Getting the separation agreement worked out was very nerve wracking because we were going to the mediator together then coming home and trying to work things out. He didn't want to pay me any money, he was very stingy...the mediator read him the riot act and he behaved better after that. financially I am doing pretty well and just bought a house.

I NEVER bad mouthed my ex to either of my kids and I don't believe he did that to me either. As for my ex, about 3 months after I left, we tried to date again and after the following 3 months of that we talked about going back to counseling again. that night I had a meltdown, the following day I was in despair (didn't dress, shower, raise the blinds, I cried all day long) and just realized there was just no way I could go back to what I had left. honestly, we both cried, we hugged each other and acknowledged it just wasn't meant to be. I ended up filing about 7 months after I left and even though it was uncontested, it still didn't get finalized for another 7 months. So yeah, it took a while.

weird as it sounds, we both care about each other, I have been there for him for a few emergencies that have come up, he has helped me with my house and given me advice about things when I ask...we are friendly but we just can't be married. and yes, he did make me crazy, the anxiety I felt whenever I was around him was enormous and anxiety fuels my bipolar episodes. for my mental health, I had to go. subsequently, he is actually healthier as well, my son says his dad's blood pressure has improved and he has lost the weight that he needed to. it's so weird to hear him tell me how proud he is of me and that he is glad to see I am happy but I'm glad for it. It's been almost 2 years since I left.