My road with depression has been long and hard, and nowhere near over. Nor is it something I'm willing to say I found a "fix" for yet. However... I think I may have found the right medicine I needed. While I've not been on it long enough to make such an assumption... there is a significant factor that comes into play.

Especially in the last year or so -- not a day goes by without thinking about suicide , passive thoughts.. no plans nor want to kill myself, just end the suffering. I've lived with that for so long and no antidepressant has ever taken those thoughts away, but have partially helped. My psychiatrist has now added an antipsychotic (which makes me uncomfortable, but I've read of its use in depression and bipolar), and changed my antidepressant. I've been on it for about a week and for the last 3-4 days... I've not had any thought about suicide, I do not easily stur up feelings of past abuse or heartache and in general I feel as if this is what "normal" should feel like.

Like I said, I am not convinced this isn't simply a lapse in my depressive symptoms, but I can say I think there may be something to adding the abilify. I had been on Wellbutrin before with little to no effect. Perhaps my diagnosis is wrong? Perhaps I'm giving too much credit? All I know is.. these last few days have been good.