I'm sorry you have such bad memories of the holiday. I get more depressed around the holidays, too, but not because of trauma.

Maybe you could volunteer during to holidays. I did that once and enjoyed it very much. I helped out at a senior citizens home and it was very rewarding. I would do it again if it weren't so far for me to drive.

I'm glad you have your cat. Animals can be great healers.

I hope that this year will be easier for you.