Quote:
Originally Posted by TrailRunner14
Well. There was a very real moment tonight with my counselor. Got there and walked in, things felt and seemed off and weird. I asked him if anything was different. Did he change anything. The space that I remembered being in just felt off. Different. We talked and finally zeroed in on his chair that he was sitting in. It didn't seem right. I was looking at it but it was not right. Can't explain.
He thinks for a minute and asked me if the chair that I thought I was remembering was bigger and darker. Yes. Yes it was. He said that he changed chairs out about a year ago and showed me a picture of the chair that he had earlier. That was it!! That's what felt off.
Not sure what to make of that...... I want to see if he keeps a record/journal/notes about what we talk about each session and see what we talked about around that time last year. Curious if that's possible.
We talked about ANP and EP parts. He understands and actually sees it that way!!
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I understand that "off" feeling too well. Many years ago (like 30) we almost opened that door but decided to keep it shut.....a lifetime of confusion, misery, and life threatening ensued. A couple years ago we opened that same door and stepped through.....now there is no going back as much as we want to...to a life of ignorant bliss. We now can see the divide within us.....and the stress of knowing haunts our every living moment. No matter how distraught it was....we miss bliss.
So off we go...forward march! Today, after a few years of controlling behvior and inner feuding....we have adopted a level of acceptance of tolerance for how we is and why. Of course we have those who still are in denial, others that are disgusted, some embarrassed, some that are torn apart, some that are quite factual and intrigued with the condition....
Being a soup bowl of adverse and contrary feelings, thoughts, ideas, beliefs....we do come across as bizarre of which most hate. Who wants to be weird? None of us does.
We don't have a guided journey though, so am grateful that you are making progress with your T.
