I went to the early service this morning because of the whole time change thing. After that I taught some Sunday school, with my wife. Then went to the late service, with my wife. I am trying my hardest in hopes that she will see me with fresh eyes and not the ones that I hurt her with. While I was sitting in church, I rubbed her neck and held her hand. I have honestly felt a change in myself, I am not nearly as selfish, depressed or angry as I used to be. I just really hope that she sees it, it really bothers me that I put her through so much during these past 8 years. I love her more than anything and I try to communicate in the best way that I know how. I know that she loves me, and I know that she misses me. But I have cried wolf (I am better) too many times and she is scared that I am going to go back to the way I used to be. Honestly I am too because if I do it means that I lose her forever, I don't want that. I know she is scared and I have asked her to look at me with fresh eyes, to see if I have really changed. I just love her so much. Thank you.