I am slowly getting more and more and more suicidal and depressed because of negative symptoms of schizophrenia.

So I took.. let's call it X to improve my mood, to be able to have emotions, enjoy, .... It's not an stimulant or a street drug... but a pharma drug... which is not used to improve mood but it does to me since I don't metabolize it well. It's not life threatening or even near it... but my psychiatrist doesn't like it, he doesn't have any better option to offer anyway.

I don't like using it.... but I don't know what other things I could use to cope with this.