There's still time to do some internet research and rig your turkey to blow once its core temperature exceeds a certain pre-determined threshold. Sure, there will be a big boom and an enormous mess, and you'll have to devise some pretense to keep yourself, your husband and all guests corralled safely in the parlor, but Thanksgiving will be abruptly and decisively cancelled and your homeowner's insurance should buy you a new kitchen. Remember to erase your browser history.