i don't know LMo if you're comfortable getting hugs.. seems like i remember that conversation once a long time ago but maybe it involved someone else... anyway, my heart really goes out to you... you sound so brave despite everything...

my only thoughts re the softening is that now is the time you have with him... whatever the past has been, the present is now, and the future will be something else... if it were me i would try, not saying i could, i don't understand the whole nature of your relationship, but i would try to have as much love now between yourself and him.. if nothing else, you can say in the hour, at the time, your heart was in the right place and in future days, should the regrets or doubts form, in your heart you would be able to forgive at least yourself... physically, mentally, he is limited now... but you are not as much and i just worry about your future emotions relative to this... and even if you aren't the perfect daughter, and who here always is, at least you can say that at the time, considering all that is happening, in your heart was a pure seed of compassion... to the best you could at the time... robotic or not... you are there, you are doing what you can.. you've even sacrificed professionally... i think you are there all the way right now LMo... with everything going on there is possibly some understandable detachment... life may not ever be harder than this... give yourself some hugs and appreciation... you're doing all you can...