yeah jacq... i hear you... taking care of ourselves is such work... and its so easy sometimes to just let go and let yourself slip back, just a little.. we believe we can pick up where we were tomorrow and continue back on our way, changing little by little and maybe that is what we need to do sometimes...

you've made progress.. when you went to the school you knew you had changed... and you have... because they saw a memory, or because you have, doesn't bring all the past back to stay... you know you've changed... you know you are better... you know you will still get better...

sending hugs... vent if it helps...