Yes, talking about the therapeutic relationship and how you two relate is beneficial, but when it becomes the focus of therapy and overrides your initial needs and goals, I think that's a big problem. Based on what you write here, it sounds like the two of you simply are not a match. I don't think your t will ever change her boundaries to meet your requests. So you either have to accept this is the way things are or move on. Could you try meeting with another therapist or two before making a final decision on this t?