I'm 17 rn and cannot visit a psychologist/psychiatrist on my own, I need to be with my parent because of the law.

I feel like killing myself for months, but I see the possible consequences so on everyday basis I'm controlling this desire... It would be such inconvience for everyone in my local environment and I'm scared I would fail.
However, I have difficulty holding back an urge when something bad happens.

The thing is, I'd like to seek professional advice.
Actually, I don't know if I'm mentally ill, even though I feel so (but I cannot go to psychologist without my parents knowing about it).

I took the Sanity Score Test and it showed that I have 8 serious and 5 minor. One of my "serious concerns" are depression, dissociation and low self-esteem. I don't know what to think about it.

Long time ago I decided that I'll go to professional doctor once I'll be 18, but now I think it would be dangerous for me to wait. I want to get successful help, but at the same time I want to stay anonymous with my thoughts.

I want to end being suicidal - I have things that I live for but I'm afraid I won't be able to control myself one day.

Is there any website providing reliable screening (or better be diagnoses) for teenagers?
I'm just so tired of uncertainty.