Quote:
Originally Posted by anagold
Hello. Please help me. I am a woman and I have a friend (woman too) who lived abroad for many years. In the mean time we saw each other a few times, on vacation episodes, fun adventures. Now she's back and what seemed to be nice turned out horrible. She flirts with all men around, including her own friend's husbands to the point it affects the couples: either they separate or fight. It is almost like wherever she is, there is trouble. Coincidently, I just met the man who is my dream partner. The thought of having the trouble woman around just pierced my peace, so I stepped back from her, said I don't feel we are very much in synchrony andthat it would be good sometime away but she would write back saying she's hurt....
so I just stopped reading her messages because I thought she was disrespecting my time. She also stopped messaging. Now, after 6 months, she wrote me a long email, attacking me in every way possible. She is accusing me of not being with her when" she most needs it" (because she just returned from abroad and feels lonely and also because many people are mad at her). She is actually getting me to feel guilty, but at the same time I know I have the right to choose who I want to spend time with. I want to be free! I want to be away from her AND stop feeling guilt. Please help me!
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I can not tell you what you should do but I can tell you what I would do. I would write her back and in a non confrontational or attacking way I would explain what she has done with the flirting and how it makes you honestly feel. I would tell her how you feel about bringing her around you new fella. She might be angry at first and even deny everything which is to be expected. But perhaps hearing the honest truth about her behavior will change her for the better in the future or at least offer her some insight into why so many people seem to be abandoning her. We can't fix problems we don't know exsist and some people thing we can which just isn't fair. Your friend may not see her flirting for what it is or the damage it causes.
If you want her out of your life you have every right to make that choice and can even tell her the continued texts are harassment at this point and you wish to have no contact with her. If she continues to contact you, you can search out legal help. I hope it doesn't escalate to this though. (((Hugs)))