@Shadix, I actually agree with what your saying about perceptions, more than once I have seen a girl get a pat on the back for pouring her drink on a creep in a bar, or an inconsiderate boyfriend. Yet in this example they are concerned he will become an abuser.
@burdieputt
There are two mildly abusive patterns here, yours and your girlfriends, together you could escalate, but I don't think your turning into a wife beater. It sounds like your relationship Just isn't healthy, or a long term prospect. I also suspect that alcohol was a factor in both these examples. I would ask is she always prone to getting verbal and immature when she drinks,(I assume you didn't loose her gift on purpose), to the point where you feel your only recourse is to respond physically.
I might be looking at your anger, and wether this relationship is really the one for you, either of you. I suspect not.

Whatever you decide, see someone about your anger, for yourself so you know who you are, and I wish you all the best.