Hello Engine81: I'm sorry you are experiencing this difficulty. I don't really have anything to offer with regard to this. Something is causing you to respond the way you are responding to your bf. Perhaps it is the abuse you suffered as a child. I know you said you had "done therapy" to try to battle this. I don't know how long you did it for. I take it, though it was not helpful.

Getting at what's going on with you, & figuring out what to do about it, is going to take time & effort with a therapist you trust & feel comfortable with. Is it possible you either didn't keep going long enough or that you didn't feel comfortable with the therapist? It can take a few tries, sometimes, to find the right mental health professional for you. The problem is, I don't know how you go about "fixing this" on your own. From my perspective it is a problem that requires professional attention. Perhaps other members, here on PC, will have some self-help suggestions to offer.

Anyway... I see this is your first post here on PC. So.... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!