I was good for a while but my symptoms are really bothering me again and I don't know what to do about all my thoughts. Here are a few....

I am terrified most of the time or lost in thoughts trying to figure things out....when I try to go to sleep because I am sure someone will come from under my bed (I sleep with my mattress on the floor - there is no space under my bed) and slit my throat or that there is a demon in my room somewhere and I'm scared to fall asleep. Luckily my seroquel usually makes me pass out eventually unless I have to take Xanax or klonopin. I am afraid when I'm in the shower because I think someone has broken in and will kill me. I'm afraid all day that cameras are watching me wherever I go, while I'm in my house or driving or at work, everywhere. I am afraid that I'm possessed and that if I went into a church something terrible would happen. I have to keep a rosary in my car and room but am afraid to touch them. I know people can read my thoughts and even as I type this I know that my roommate knows what I'm typing even though he's in another room. I know I have powers like how I said over and over I wanted my friend's cat to get better and then she got better miraculously. But then I get scared that I can do that. I often smirk or laugh because I know that there is another dimension, etc.

It makes me not care about anything. I have trouble with relationships with others and can't keep friends. I'd rather be alone. I'm nervous at work because I work in retail and have difficulty with customers. I'm very awkward and never say the right things. I also don't know if I know people from TV or I've seen them in person before. I can't recognize people sometimes and have trouble remembering their names. I just want to stay home all the time and I'm afraid to leave or go too far away. I get panicked thinking about it. This guy I've been dating wants me to spend the night all the time and it practically gives me a panic attack to do it.....

My life is so hard and I'm kind of in a depression about it right now because I don't know what to do . Nothing helps. My Pdoc wants me to do therapy to help with the thoughts and realize they aren't real, etc. Doctors & therapists always say, "it would be very scary to have those thoughts." Oh, really? Do you think so? But no one can ever help me. I want the thoughts to stop.