What if the guy isn't open to talking about sex? Some guys aren't really all that touchy-feely with that aspect of themselves. And don't say the right man for you will be open to communication because from what you expect of your mate, listening to heavy metal music and whatnot, that they will not want to wait.

I feel you are limiting yourself too much and are expecting too much from a guy. You need to get out there and lower your expectations a few notches.