I did think about posting this in the sexual/gender forum but tbh I would prefer female only replies due to the physiological nature of what I'm going through so I'm posting it here. Any other women who have experienced similar I would appreciate some sharing/input thanks.

All my married life (20 years) I have had what I regard as healthy sexual desire for my husband and sex has been a really wonderful and fun part of our marriage. He's older than me and I would say I've always (bar the first few years of our relationship) been the partner with the higher libido, and gradually over the years his desire has decreased. This has meant me adapting and coping with less sex than I would ideally have chosen. Not easy but that is just how it is and I totally appreciate his body is changing with age in this way and I respect that.

This last year things have really dwindled, and I had actually started to think that it may well be it for our sex life. It wasn't an easy prospect to face but I'm not young either, I'm approaching menopause I suspect and noticed my own desire was not what it was. Thinking about my feelings I realised that feeling loved was far more important to me than sex, and just snuggling and holding hands when alone together was really special and lovely.

Then last night he suddenly gets in the mood again and my own lack of response surprised me - I think he thought I was joking at first but I have literally forgotten how to go on. I just could not be bothered. I did reassure him I love him and that this is a physical thing for me, but it was so strange to find my response gone.

I'm not sure if it's my age/hormones or a case of I didn't use it so I lost it so to speak. Almost like my body has decided this is not necessary anymore so it's switched off.

Husband is okay with it, after all I was okay when his desire was gone (and he tells me he doesn't think it'll happen again for a while!) but it just feels weird - sex was such a great fun thing, real connection and togetherness - to suddenly just go ppphhtt feels a bit sad.