Have you ever had someone ask for a heart-to-heart, a chance to "share" their feelings? And then, when you walked away, you felt as if a garbage truck had been unloaded on your chest?

I mean, there's positive sharing, where each party takes responsibility for their own feelings and actions. But what about when someone tries to give you responsibility for their issues?

There's a situation at work that's causing me anxiety. I've been living with the dread, the knotted stomach, the bouts of sleeplessness and utter angst. I doubt that I would be feeling such anxiety if I didn't absolutely adore this coworker.

We've been working on a big project. She's a self-proclaimed procrastinator. So, I wasn't surprised when weeks went by and things remained undone. No problem, no complaints: I would bring us up to speed.

Then the resentment set in. She came to me one day, saying she had been feeling angry. She thought our deadlines should be relaxed so she would have a chance. (She helped set the deadlines.) And while she was talking, she told me she's jealous of me. I mean, I'm good at my job, but a fairy-tale life I do not lead. She said she resents me because people like me. How am I supposed to respond to that? I was understanding and offered help. I compromised all over the place. She didn't. Not a single "I'll try harder or sooner."

Since our conversation, I've felt shaken. Now my performance is suffering. And the strange thing is: I honestly don't feel anxious about the project or the job. I think my feelings have been hijacked by hers. I keep trying to separate the emotions out: This is mine and I'll own it; This is hers to do with what she wants. But, the anxiety persists.

Any advice? I'm willing to help. I can't "fix" another person's feelings though. In the meantime, I'm trying to shake the anxious aftermath.