Dissociating does make it possible to cope, but it is really only a temporary solution. The anger is still there, and eventually it's going to cause problems for you if you don't deal with it. Especially if it blindsides you out of nowhere because you don't even know it's even there.

There's a signature I noticed someone here using: "Depression is anger turned inwards." It just sounds like that might be what you are doing, even though you don't know it. Meds also will help you feel better and function better, but they don't fix the problem or teach you how to deal with your feelings. They can help to hide the feelings from you.

I have fought the idea that I was angry, too. But it's there, and it always leaks out somewhere, that is if it doesn't explode.