This really touched me. I do think you should let go of your judgements and I bet you could ease up on yourself a bit more too.

As other people have mentioned, this other women and her husband need to work out there own stuff. I see where you are coming from. I've taken the bus to work for a few years and having a car was life changing. I'm very fortunate that I could afford a decent car. If you don't live in an area with adequate public transit it becomes essential to success unless you can bike to work or afford Taxi's. A decent motorcycle can be purchased for much less than a decent car. Perhaps he got a very good deal on it? We cannot assign importance and priorities to other humans. They are allowed to do that themselves. Unless the parent told you to force the kid to study, it was not needed. I applaud your efforts in trying to do a good thing but your subsequent reaction when an 8 year old didn't willingly just follow direction shows you're not prepared for the task and nobody asked so best not to do it. It seems you feel over-extended by this family and could possibly be helped by continuing to deny helping them with daycare until you are less stressed.

Do you think you could lighten up a bit? Your guy might have really loved the drive and commitment to ideals but perhaps he wants to see a softer side of you sometimes too. We learn people's quirks much more quickly once we live together. Sometimes what is cute on random dates becomes too much once you're living together and it's a constant thing. With that said I think you should be able to be your authentic self and so censoring yourself doesn't sound like a healthy option either. (((Hugs)))