This is kind of a strange and embarassing question for me....but I'm hoping someone has some input for me...

well, I'm 20 years old and have never been in a relationship before. Which I believed was by choice. In the past few months I've found myself getting close to a guy and we've been seeing each other and I finally let him kiss me for the first time this past weekend.

I was so scared and nervous about just kissing him, and things went a little further. We didn't do anything serious but I was still so afraid of him kissing me, every time he touched me, it almost felt painful. A few times he even pointed out that I was shaking a lot.

I was a little upset with him even because he had the intention of going all the way, which to me, was completely unacceptable. What did happen was already overwhelming anyway.

I couldn't relax and it was just really frustrating. - I wonder if this could all be related to the time I was sexually assaulted by a teacher when I was 12. I always thought I got over it - but this experience makes me wonder.

I don't like talking about my feelings and I hate the thought of being "emotionally slutty". So I never talk to people about my "issues".

Would it have been approriate for me to have told him that I was really scared? Or is that just strange? Should I tell him next time if/when it happens again.

I know thats a lot, but thank you for reading this....I'm just really confused.