Dear Moose -- what a great topic -- about a terrible time. I'm glad to find this thread. I'm stuck in this moment, too. My day has been in what my partner calls "agitation." Fortunately, we do not live together. We each have our own apartment. I have p.o'd at least 5 people on the phone today, because things that "should" work, don't. People who "should" have kept their appointment with me today, for whom I cancelled things I wanted to do and stayed home all day, did not show up. (See more comments on the “should” issue. Below) I called my therp 2x, crisis line 1 time, did the things they urged me to do....did one -- stopped; did another -- stopped, just like you described. I've just taken 5 mg of Valium. The doc said to take another 5 mg if I don't feel better. I want pie or ice cream real bad. This is not the way I am when the meds work. I've been struggling with med changes for 5 months. Now one med person says maybe it is the med that is causing my mood and behavior. I'm waiting for a doc to call again, then my partner and I are going out for dessert at Denny's, the best ice cream sundaes and cobbler with ice cream. I'm not overweight, but at this point I'm going to be if I can't get control of my craving for sweets. Up till now I have always had excellent discipline with my weight. Three times in my life (the first was in 1963!) I dropped 22 pounds and they stayed off. The third time was 5 years ago. Now I've put on 5 lbs, probably caused by lithium, which I don't take anymore. Overall, my life is good, except for my sprained thumb and that I'll need surgery on one or two organs in a couple of months, plus preparing/tests for that. As for "Should," I have a book called Escaping Emotional Entrapment. I bought a workbook, too. They say, "should" statements and beliefs are not acceptable in our lives. I cannot do anything at all that the workbook says is important to be emotionally healthy and in control of our lives. And that's all hunky-dory that I eliminate "should" from my personal life. But what about when somone makes an appointment me, I stay home all day, they stand me up, and then the office that sent them lies and says they had no record of him showing up? I even have an official document saying he'd be here to inspect my dysfunctional window. The inspector SHOULD have shown up, right? The departments SHOULD have coordinated their appointment schedules, right? They SHOULD not have played mind games and lied to me, right? I am incredibly in terrible condition, and, as you so eloquently said, "stuck in the moment."