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Originally Posted by Skeezyks
Hello Shadix: You know... I don't have the answer to this.  I don't even know if there is an answer.  But a couple of things strike me here. First is you wrote you have not been diagnosed as having Asperger's. So my thought would be, before you begin looking at your life in terms of what limitations having Asperger's might place on it, it might be a good idea to determine if you could even be diagnosed with it.
I guess I don't know if having charisma is something that is really worth being concerned about. It is certainly true that some people just seem to have "a certain something" that causes other people to be drawn to them. (I was never one of those people.)  But I don't know if that is something one can learn. People who have it, just have it. And those of us who don't... don't... in my opinion.  That doesn't mean that we can't be successful in our own individual ways.
If you do an internet search for famous people who have Asperger's, you'll find the names (& pictures) of many highly successful people. Do they all have charisma? No. Some of them probably do. But what's important, it seems to me, is that you figure out what you can do, & want to do, in your life & pursue that... charisma or no charisma. I wish you well...   |
Well, the problem is, I have a brother who does have that "certain something" that causes other people to be drawn to him. People always seem to find him more appealing than me, especially girls. This makes me feel obsolete and worthless. I basically don't acknowledge this openly and continue to tell myself that I can develop the same social skills and be just as appealing as him. But if it is really true that I am programmed to lose at this game, then I need to basically put a stop to it. I need to let him know that his charismatic personality overshadows mine and that he needs to tone it down around me. He doesn't need to flirt with every girl he sees or give lectures about topics to make himself look smart. It isn't right for him to make me look pathetic just to feed his ego. He can switch the charisma off and behave like a normal person.
Unfortunately, I do not have any non-social ambitions that could make up for my lack of personal appeal. I am not a computer wiz nor am I good at sports. And I am not at a young age where I can find my niche, I am 28. It is too late for me to truly excel at anything.