You are making sense. You are not dumb for feeling how you feel.

I wish I had some words that would make it all okay for you. What I would like to say is that the reality of life is rarely the same as the internet fantasy. People omit the bad/dull stuff. They exaggerate the good.
It leaves us all feeling very inferior indeed.

As an aside, this whole wedding stuff in general is out of control, imho.

YOU are the smart one. You are working a job that will make a difference in the world and you can be proud of that. You are not going broke on credit cards.

Please, don't buy into what people "say" out there. Except for me, of course. I am, apparently, perfect (added that last bit...please take it with the humor intended)

Your life choice are much better than most peoples. However, I have no way to help you to believe that for yourself and that's the sucky part of this response...