Hi axl,

I have read your post very carefully, twice over.

The anxiety is hitting you hard just at the moment and it's obviously hurting you.

First thing, this is not your fault. It's not your fault. The illness, which I have also suffered very badly, messes you up. People don't always understand what is going on, as they can't see any physical stuff, just your reactions to the panic.

Second, It is survivable. If you can get some strategies in place, as well as the medication, it will help. I had to learn to take the panic and just not respond to it. Believe me, this can be achieved. A therapist can help you see past the anxiety and start to deal with it. I think of it as dealing with a job that I don't want to do, but it has to be done.

Last, those car crashes are still fresh with you, and the biggest thing - the loss of your sister. This is a heck of a lot for you to deal with. I hope you can get to a counsellor or a therapist and start getting some of the anger out.

Stay with us, there are people here who understand and have been through the hard stuff. If you can stay with us I'm sure it will get better for you.

Good thoughts to you, Myzen.