My drug of choice has gone through the gamut over the past 17 years... My worst and most addicting two were opiates and amphetamines/meth.

With the opiates I'm not even sure how it got so bad so quickly. They never even used to appeal to me. I had a major surgery 09, had no problems stopping opiates after about 3 months. The following year I started taking vico and buying them off the streets. Stopped after several months cause I was pregnant. After giving birth via c-section (vicodin for couple months again) I ended up having to have several (5) more surgeries within a 2 yr period. Finally after constant requests for refills and not able to taper successfully the surgeon referred to another dr who introduced me to opiates evil twin suboxone. I can honestly say I would have rather quit opiates cold turkey than having to go through the W/D of suboxone ever again. I was prescribed a ridiculous amount of 12 mg strips 2x per day. Then started abusing those. It was hell. I was able to detox from those with an immense amount of support through another forum. And they helped to taper down the suboxone and get my vitamin/nutrient levels back on track. I was clean and sober for about a year and a few months. It was amazing.

Then I was given the shock of my life when my ex husband of 13 yrs walked out on me and our child. I had already been struggling with regulating my bipolar meds and that did not help the situation at all. Xanax then became my downfall. And stayed that way for a while.

I somehow weaned myself off of approx a daily amount of 15-20 .5mg of xanax and was sober again for 6 months.

Then along came an introduction to my current demon meth. Which is needed after I blaze through my monthly script of Adderall (usually lasts 6 maybe 7 days) then it's meth till the next refill. What's ridiculous is that I'm extremely high functioning on it. No one has a clue unless they're privy to knowing personal business like that. But I know this can't last forever. I'm certain I've damaged my pancreas.

Which drinking 2 fifths of vodka daily for several months doesn't make for a healthy body to begin with. The dt's from stopping that was rough.

I've done so much damage to my body and the chemical composition of my brain and how it even can produce the chemicals that I need normally. I'm terrified to stop my current drug of choice and the knowing that I'm about to sleep for weeks and zero energy or strength to do anything.