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Nov 23, 2016, 12:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moose72
I'm home. It's dark. Inside and out. I brushed my teeth after dinner. Time crawls by. Breathing noticeable. Afraid of last time where I couldn't shut it off. Started with cold air activating my asthma today. So much time until bedtime. One kid here one kid not. Strange state. Indefinite. Had music on. Now off. Had a movie on. Now off. I feel stuck in this moment. Will I ever see the sun again? So much to do tomorrow- important stuff. Hit refresh. Hit refresh....
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Dear Moose -- what a great topic -- about a terrible time. [wrote this yesterday…feeling okay today, so far….] I'm glad to find this thread. I'm stuck in this moment, too. My day has been in what my partner calls "agitation." Fortunately, we do not live together. We each have our own apartment. I have p.o'd at least 5 people on the phone yesterday, because things that "should" work, don't. People who "should" have kept their appointment with me today, for whom I cancelled things I wanted to do and stayed home all day, did not show up. (See more comments on the “should” issue. Below) I called my therp 2x, crisis line 1 time, did the things they urged me to do....did one -- stopped; did another -- stopped, just like you described. I've just taken 5 mg of Valium. The doc said to take another 5 mg if I don't feel better. I want pie or ice cream real bad. This is not the way I am when the meds work. I've been struggling with med changes for 5 months. Now one med person says maybe it is the med that is causing my mood and behavior. I'm waiting for a doc to call again, then my partner and I are going out for dessert at Denny's, the best ice cream sundaes and cobbler with ice cream. I'm not overweight, but at this point I'm going to be if I can't get control of my craving for sweets. Up till now I have always had excellent discipline with my weight. Three times in my life (the first was in 1963!) I dropped 22 pounds and they stayed off. The third time was 5 years ago. Now I've put on 5 lbs, probably caused by lithium, which I don't take anymore. Overall, my life is good, except for my sprained thumb and that I'll need surgery on one or two organs in a couple of months, plus preparing/tests for that. As for "Should," I have a book called Escaping Emotional Entrapment. I bought a workbook, too. They say, "should" statements and beliefs are not acceptable in our lives. I cannot do anything at all that the workbook says is important to be emotionally healthy and in control of our lives. Fortunately today, a great friend of mine suggested I see my therapist weekly, and slowly work on each bit in the workbook and book.
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