about two years ago I started having thoughts that I was sexually assaulted as a child. sometimes I think by my dad, sometimes the thought is not specific. this was very distressing and I would often break down when I had these thoughts. over the last two years they're have been times when I barely have these thoughts and other times it's more frequent. I went to my grans house the other day and I had a panic attack, and was thinking in my head that it happened there. However I have no memories or images of being abused. I also don't think thats something my dad would do, though my dad is not a very nice person and certainly neglected us, he never abused us.

I have two sisters, and one of them was raped when I was a kid so I think these thoughts might be related to that, that maybe it's my brain trying to deal with what she went through in some roundabout way. and that I wasn't really assaulted. But recently I've felt very distressed feeling like the thoughts could be true.

If anyone could give me any advice it would be much appreciated.

I spoke to my therapist about it, and he only said that it could be true in which case me not remembering it serves the purpose of protecting me and should be respected. And also that it could be fabricated, or not true as well. Which is what I always thought, but am starting to have doubts.

As this is likely a delusion and not the reality I wasn't sure about posting this here, but I didn't know where else to post. I also haven't ever experienced any other delusions apart from going through a period of time when I was very mentally unwell where I felt like I could sense dark presences in the room.