Quote:
Originally Posted by Lonely Warrior
Personally I don't consider being funny and confident "good" qualities in females (I consider them nice to have qualities, but they are not necessary). Being nice, considerate, genuine, compassionate and honest, on the other hand, are good qualities, to me. We humans unfortunately, judge by first impression. There is something called the halo effect, where we judge everything in a person just from the first impression. For males, being funny and confident dominates the first impression females have about males, which isn't fair in my opinion, but it's the way it is if no conscious decision is made to overcome these default modes of thinking, which I would argue most people aren't aware of in the first place.
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As a women I am well aware of our ability to jump to conclusions about one another. I go through great strides to keep an open mind about all people. But some people do just rub me the wrong way pretty quickly. I usually give them a chance or two but my instincts are usually right. I've heard it said that sometimes we don't like people because they are so different, but sometimes we clash with people who are too much like us.
My husband and I started a relationship online (through a dating site) we started by writing each other, then video chat. Then dates. He's not the kind of person I would have usually met and fell for on first impression. I'm so lucky we got to know each other so well through writing. It was like coming home when we met. Very emotional.
Peacocks show off to the females by flashing their pretty feathers (only the males have pretty feathers and use them to attract mates). We humans use whatever we got. Charisma, looks and the list goes on and on through a myriad of different superficial things. Try finding someone who is not superficial? Feels like a Needle in a haystack sometimes but it's doable.