I have a casual friend that has very on and off communication. She will days, weeks, or even months without responding to texts, giving off the vibe that she doesn't care anymore. She gives off the vibe that she doesn't want to be friends, but then suddenly want to hang out or invites me somewhere. I've never understood why she does this. I don't get it. I always thought if someone really doesn't want to be friends with you, they will stop texting or talking to you and that is it.

That is final. But with her, she will go a while but then respond or something. Although sometimes she will respond with one word answers, obviously showing disinterest. I've apologized if I ever bothered her. She responded by saying she is busy and that I don't bother her. The thing is, no one is so busy that they can't respond to a text for days, weeks, or even months. Sorry but that is just a lame excuse in my opinion. A few hours to maybe a day is understandable, I am guilty of this every so often.

I will intend to get to a message at a later time once I finish doing something and then totally forget. Very rare but it happens. But I feel like my casual friend is just making up excuses. I understand that she probably just doesn't want to be friends anymore. That is fine, I respect that. But I don't get why she will suddenly talk to me like she is totally interested or invite me after acting like she could care less for so long. Sometimes I wonder if she really cares about me but is horrible at showing it or if she is just contacting me out of boredom and invites me out of obligation or as a last resort.

Any possibilities to this? I've talked to her about it but it doesn't change anything. Just confused that's all. During the period where we are making plans to hang out, we could be making plans to hang out in a few days and then like a day or two before out planned day to hang out, she just stops texting. It is the most annoying when I am trying to figure out what time she wants to meet so I can appropriately figure out what time I should catch the subway and bus.

I also ask if we are still hanging out in the event of a sudden change of plans. There has been times when she didn't respond at all and left me hanging, and also times when she cancelled last minute. I find this disrespectful. If she wants to cancel, have the courtesy to let me know. I called her out on it before and she would get mad. Once she bailed out and I called her out on how she could have easily let me know and wished she had told me before I made a two hour trip to meet her. She actually changed her mind and saw me for a bit but I could tell she was mad with me.

I felt bad in a way because I knew she was hanging out with me out of obligation. I hate that. Either people hang out with me because they want to or not at all. I told her we don't have to hang out if she doesn't want to but just figured it would have been polite to tell me before I made a two hour trip. Any suggestions on why she may be acting this way? I know she most likely is a bad friend, and I can see it but I just don't get why sometimes she will suddenly act all interested and then suddenly drop off days, weeks, or even months at a time.

Do you think she is just doing this stuff out of politeness and maybe even out of boredom and talking to me as a last resort when she has no one else to turn to? I don't want to appear clingy but at the same time, I want her to respect me. Just feel confused and don't get why she acts the way she does. I wish if she doesn't want to be friends with me, that she would just stop talking to me completely. I'd much rather her not talk to me at all and leave it at that than act like she doesn't care about me one bit and then suddenly talk to me like we are best friends.

Like I said, I get everyone, including her, has busy lives. But there is still no excuse to treat someone like they are nothing and say they are too busy to even text every so often but then act like they really care and text like as if nothing is wrong when they are feeling bored. She has always been this way, but ever since she dropped out of the college I graduated from, she got way worse and just acts like she could careless about anyone including me. I just wish I knew how she really felt and whether or not she really liked me as a friend or just someone to talk to as a last resort when she is bored, or even out of politeness.