well here's the scoop. we have tg dinner at what was my grandmas house each year. she just passed away at the end of the summer, so this is our first without her here. and my dad's whole side of the family gathers there including my cousin who was also my best friend (until there was a major violation of bros before hoes (just a phrase, not trying to upset any women)). well shortly after that happened I spazzed out on him and told him to blow his brains out next time he's thinking about it... He'll be there and we have yet to speak since I wacked out. and my dad and I aren't exactly on the best terms at the moment right now either. He's been non-stop putting his 2 cents in on how I should forgive, and I called him out on one of his core beliefs (coulda done this a bit nicer I guess) but I get that he didn't take what I said to kindly because he called me an asshole. which is not like him... at all. And I've got a lot of body work to do on my jeep that we were gonna do together on Friday, and idk if that's gonna happen now. I'm tempted to not go today and just go to fix the jeep tomorrow.

plan as of now is to watch my phone, if I get a text or call telling me when dinner is i'll consider going. if I don't receive anything I'll stay home alone.

like I have a great family (well thought I did), and they're all I had when I had nothing else. and now they're going away too, just like everyone else in my life...