We can't fix problems we don't know exsist or don't admit are problems. You are over that hurdle and some can never jump that particular hurdle so you're ahead of the game in some ways. Get some help....some anger management and DBT as well as some one in one therapy will probably take you far. You are smart and that will take you far. You have to really want to change though. Good luck and keep us posted if you are up to it.