Quote:
Originally Posted by campervanman
You are not alone lark265! And I am sorry you are feeling like this.
My paranoia does its` dam nest and stops` me from going out, and this depresses me more! Isolation is I suppose is my doing (Don't` want anybody thinking that I am a nut-job!) I know that I am a good person inside, who just wants` a normal life! `BUT` the way my mind works` I will never experience that! (And that thought makes` me more depressed) It feels` that I am on a merry-go-round that won`t bloody stop! (Makes` my head spin, race and hurt) aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh `Please god make it all go-away` 
A big  from me. |
thanks Campervanman......I know deep down in my heart that yes, my isolating is my own doing. I can blame others (and do!) all day long but that tends to keep me right where I am emotionally (i.e., in Hell). I think my lifelong quest to pass as "NORMAL" is hurting me a lot. It wasn't OK in my home growing up to be even slightly "different." So naturally I started to blame my anxiety, weird thoughts and agony ON MYSELF. That is, "well my Mom acts as if that's not normal so it must be that I'm defective." Carry on.....