I am mixed on this. My own stepdad came into my home when I was about eleven. My body was already undergoing puberty and it was all new to me. I was pretty unaware the impact a developing teen may have had on an adult males sensibilities. My stepdad made similar requests. In some ways it felt shaming unnecessarily. In some ways it felt like he was intruding on my home and the way I always lived. But on the other hand, I was doing my own laundry at that age.

If you told your stepdaughter that you are asking her to cover up out of respect for her it will be a much more positive message than shaming her over your values. It would be better boundaries for both of you to keep covered around each other, not just her. I think you have good boundaries you are just focusing on the wrong person. You really need to convince her mom you won't get anywhere otherwise.

Again, the morals thing seems intrusive to me. Putting it in terms of mutual respect and this is how older men should treat you with respect, by caring about your privacy. The robe sea was a nice thought. Tough situation!!