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Rapunzel said:
People have told me I'm too hard on myself, but she says I'm not anywhere near hard enough on myself. She probably means I need to push myself harder to change. I feel judged a lot.

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Honestly, if someone told me that, Id feel judged too!!! I don't know about your relationship though, but that seems odd. It seems you have pointed out over and over that you feel like she doesnt think you are working hard enough; yet you feel you are. Have you conveyed that to her? Is this a breaking point for your relationship? Could she be blaming you b/c she doesnt know how to help you move forward? Just questions to think about though.