Hey Sweet Salinas,

Welcome to Psychcentral Forums . You'd find a ton of support here.

As for your question is concerned, it's very difficult to provide any answer. I am glad you are with a therapist and continue to work with your therapist.

I read in a book - Body Keeps Score...that memory remains unadulterated in your mind, somewhere, until you try to access it.

Don't focus on unraveling the past. I was sexually abused by my father in my teens. He probably did something to me when I was younger and I have no memory of it (I only remember few incidents around it, but not the actual incident).

I have healed a LOT, with my therapist, self-help books and unknown ppl from Psychcentral Forums.

In my experience, accessing the memory you've forgotten is less important for healing. The thing that truly helped me, is accessing my feelings.

But if you really, really want to know, do talk to your therapist about hypnotherapy...it may help. You may want to talk to your sister. You may have been sexually assaulted yourself by the same person, or you may have witnessed your sister.

You will get that memory when you are ready for it...or it may never come back to you. Focus on facing the current problems you are having. You can't walk forward, if you keep looking and be fixated on your past.