Thanks - Brillskep - I am listening to that now.
I reported my ex T to the police today for inappropriate physical violations.
I feel like I am coming out of a long fog, he is losing his 'hold' on me, and since he wouldn't make himself available so that I could discuss these things with him - then I just look back and think : heck, he just kept getting hold of me without asking, saying it was what a dad would do, but a dad wouldn't just abruptly walk out on their daughter like this. So it all doesn't fit.