Hi AsaBoxofRocks. Welcome to Psych Central. I am sorry you feel that your situation says something bad about who you are as a person. Everyone, I believe, has a talent that they are especially suited to bring to this world. I do not know what your talent is, but I hope you do not give up hope of finding it.

These articles may help lend some insight

IQ Can Be Linked to Physical and Psychiatric Disorders | World of Psychology

https://psychcentral.com/lib/building-self-esteem/

Are Intelligence and Memory Linked?

I feel that my life has not gone as I thought it should, but I learned things I would not have learned any other way. I guess for me life has not gone as planned but I would not go back and try to live it another way even if I could. It would have been so much different than it turned out in the end for me. Looking back over a whole lifetime, things turned out all right, and maybe even just the way they were supposed to. Not that I am someone great, but I have started to be comfortable in my own skin.