Don't assume what women are thinking. You are basing your knowledge on what you see superficially. Sure, many of these women like charming and witty people. Who doesn't? That doesn't mean everyone they like has to be that way to be valued. Unless you are a mind reader, then you have no idea what women really think about the men they spend time with. Everyone doesn't have to witty and charismatic in order to be valued and in fact those qualities are less important than many others. I think being warm, caring, positive, thoughtful, generous, kind, smart is far more important. Charm and wit are bonuses on top of the rest, and I'd bet that many people agree. I think the best way to work on yourself is to think of yourself in terms of advertising - if you had to convince someone to spend time with you, what would you say? Think about what you value in the people you want to spend time with. What do you have to offer them? Friendship is not unconditional - it's a give and take relationship. So they should offer something to you and you to them. If you identify what you value and start working on what you can offer in return, you'll probably have a lot more luck.