(((Rap)))

I agree with Alexandra...

Also, you probably are right (sadly) about her not remembering you (at least like she does now) a decade or so down the road...but acceptance from her is not the key, acceptance of yourself is.

I believe that you are doing better, just even for things such as this post, you are questioning, wondering--not just taking it as face value.

I mean, to me, acceptance is great, but it is not always enough. I think you are doing well because, look at you, you are asking questions, willing to find out where you think you have gone wrong, and you are trying to find ways to change them.

Believe it or not, I am very psychodynamic myself...I have always thought and felt that feelings deep down from when we were children have helped "layer" the feelings we have now...

Its like putting creams and ointments and bandages over a physical wound, if we do not treat them, they usually will heal, but sometimes with a nasty scar...so it is better that you have been putting the cream (posts), ointments (PMs) and bandages (therapy) over all your mental pains...

And sweetie, while I hate to cause you any pain, the therapist will leave sooner or later, that is their job, to help you get better IRL so you can face the RL...not just so you can face them over and over.

You know how I feel about you, you know I love you, so if you want, you can continue to PM me. I think you are doing better than you may realize, mainly because you are looking for her validation, when you should only be looking for your own...