Thanks so much for your reply! It is comforting to know I am not alone especially when I feel so alone! The thing I find the hardest right now is the loneliness and hopelessness. I also feel like no one really understands what I am going through. My family is generally pretty supportive but burn out pretty easily when I talk about what I am feeling for too long, which I understand! But the thing about that is when the time of talking to them is over, I'm just back to myself in my head and feel like I cant escape.

Lately I feel like I have been on autopilot, basically just existing and not really being fully present in my life, so I guess I would say thats been another hard thing lately.