I'm so sorry you are in this position.

I wish you'd take a little time in understanding depression. A person in depression finds it tough to simply get out of bed....even for the tiniest task. A depressed person feels hopeless and trapped in life. You simply lack the motivation to do anything.....anything. Think of your worst day where all you wanted to be in bed and not bothered for anything and just be left alone.....depression is like that, everyday.

Now people rarely change when things are the same. It's even more true if it's depression, where you lack motivation to do even the simplest task. Things would NEVER improve, if you leave things to change, on your wife.

It's up to you, to get the ball rolling. Book an appointment with a therapist for her....don't tell her. Get her started on therapy, by hook or crook. Encourage her to earn her own money. Earning makes a person feel good and can help her get out of depression. She may also get off your back for money.

It would also help if you both get in the habit of exercising together....watch exercising videos together and work out together. Exercise releases endorphins which makes a person feel good, more in control and helps in getting out of depression. Also, encourage her to get into psychcentral forums - there is a depression forum and she can improve if she connects with other people going through a similar situation. I request you to use that forum yourself, to get a greater understanding your self.

Now, you may want to consider therapy yourself. I think you do face some control issues and that may be the reason you may be getting even more frustrated with your situation. Blaming 3 billion women of this planet because you've had a few bad experiences is hardly a healthy thing to do . Sometimes when the whole world is the problem...then you are the problem.

As you mention, you didn't have a great relationship with your mother and she wrongly blamed you for many things . The relationship we share with our parents, like a domino, sets the path for relationship with every other people in our life. Every child deserves to feel loved, cherished & admired. When we have trouble getting that feeling of being loved unconditionally from our parents, especially mother, we fail to love ourselves. When we fail to love and accept ourselves, we fail to connect socially with the world and end up in one dysfunctional relationship after other.

So WOMEN are not the problem, your first relationship with a woman, made the whole world a problem. So start with a therapy for yourself. You may want to explore this forum for yourself - Survivors of Abuse - Forums at Psych Central . And encourage your wife to enter therapy and make sure she gets started on that. You deserve to feel loved, admired and cherished. Heal yourself. Encourage your wife to heal from depression.

Hopefully, soon your daughter will grow up in a loving, wonderful family where she feels loved unconditionally by her parents.

Good luck!