If the endurance test for getting into the elite military groups like the Australian SAS or I think in the USA it is the Marines (forgive me if I am wrong), included facing the mental hell we have all faced for the number of years we have faced it, in the face of the massive stigma and lack of access to affordable, skilled support then I would tend to believe most of those truly incredible men and women would fail the test in one way or another.

What we go through is not for the faint hearted. We are tough just because we survived and keep getting back up. Gosh even if we 'failed' we would have died fighting to our last breathe.

I guess what I am saying is that you are an elite special forces commando when it comes to mental illness. You are not defective, you didn't ask for this life but from what I read you live it with great dignity, honesty, humour, love and commission. You are not defective, you are one of a kind and so many here, and i am sure in real life, are os thankful they know you. I Know I am. Be kind to yourself as you are to others.