I'm in a horrific funk mood over same conflict with h while our kids are in town for the weekend. I ruined the time that could have been wonderful. I'm popping anything I can to try to lift my mood. I can't stand to look at h. I have to be around him and act like a happy family. How am I going to pick myself up and save the day today?

I self medicated and punched the crap out of myself yesterday, staying in my room all day and night alone sulking, crying, sleeping it off.

Meanwhile, h gets to have a lovely time with the kids.